It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
