yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
