what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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