I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
