You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
