your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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