there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Randomize
