help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Pants are for mortals
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