i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
