we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
