Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
