he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
