One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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