he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
