S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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