fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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