porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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