Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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