Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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