I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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