Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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