I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
