she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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