Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
pray to the hookup gods
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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