Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
