Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
