Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
