Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
