Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
