You smell like a Billy Joel song
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
