I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
