dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I can't turn off my feet"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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