If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You need Xanax blowdarts
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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