I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
