She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
