After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
