I puked a lego.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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