I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
