3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
