I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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