i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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