How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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