hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
