I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
