Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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