they need to just BURY HIM!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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