I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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