Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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