i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
