I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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