he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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