Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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