i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
